If you have followed me for a while, then you know I have dealt with a lot of haters over the course of growing my business. Dealing with haters feels like getting sucker punched in the stomach after you just extended your hand for a handshake. I have been in “Facebook jail” several times because of people reporting posts on my personal and business page. Thankfully I don’t have to deal with this anymore due to contacts I have made with Facebook. I have dealt with people coming into my life and my business with the sole purpose of trying to destroy it (this has been the most recent). I have dealt with hateful messages and comments on social media about my business. I have endured hateful looks and comments in public from people who do not agree with my business. I have endured hateful rumors and comments that people have said about me. One that I always think about because I don’t understand it is, “She is way too outgoing to be genuine.” What the heck does this even mean?!?!? All of this slander and hatefulness I have handled with grace and a smile. Why you ask? Great question! Well, I have many answers for this.
It's None of My Business What People Think of Me
Not everyone is going to like me. Not everyone is going to like my business. Their opinion of me and their reasons are none of my business and worrying about their opinions is not going to help me or my business.
Haters Fuel My Creativity for Growth & Motivate Me
I think I may be the queen of “Oh really? Watch me!” Case in point, when I was 11 my mother told me to not climb on a wall that I used to climb and walk on for fun. She told me I was going to fall and break my arm. As soon as the words came out of her mouth I knew I was going to climb that wall and prove her wrong. Well, guess what happened. I climbed the wall and fell off the other side breaking my arm. Nothing motivates me more than being told I can’t do something except someone trying to stop me from doing what I want to do. I was definitely born a rebel and the older I get the more rebellious I become. My business has grown exponentially in the past 3 years because so many said I couldn’t do it or have tried to stop me.
Having Haters Means I Am Doing Something Right
If I wasn’t accomplishing anything then no one would care about what I did. With success is going to come the 30/30/30 rule. 30% of the people are going to love you. 30% are going to hate you. 30% of people aren’t going to give a crap that you even breathe. So, as my haters grow I know that the people who love and appreciate me and my business is also growing!
They Have Taught Me to be Even More Accepting of Others
I own a boudoir studio and lingerie store so as far as judging others you will not find someone who is less judgmental than myself. Being treated ugly by others is hurtful. I know what that hurt feels like and the last thing I want to do is make someone else feel the pain I have felt. We are all individuals and none of us are the same, but we are also all God’s children and should treat each other as such.
I Use Their Criticism as a Way to Evaluate and Humble Myself
Self-reflection is so important if you want to grow as a person. Reflecting on myself and what I am doing is definitely the first thing I do when I’m dealing with hater drama. Are they right? Am I wrong? What can I learn from this? In a way it’s a blessing. I want to be a good person and how better to check yourself than when you have so many pointing a finger at you? So, I am over here working on myself, working on my business, trying to help my customers and family, all the while I have haters spying on me and collaborating. Basically, they are spending a ton of their time and energy, sharing notes and speculating and not working on them or their own lives. Well, they can keep on doing that because I am going to keep on working on my business, my relationships, myself, and all the other things around me that I care about and love.
They Make Me Appreciate My Victories More
Dealing with the haters who have tried to keep me from growing my business has made me appreciate what I have done so much more. I have been in business for over 10 years. Most businesses don’t make it a year! I have gone from a part time photographer photographing everything to a niche photographer, expanded to add a lingerie store and have 3 websites that receive hundreds of thousands of hits a month! Growing to this point has been a hard, long journey and I have endured so much, but I know it really must be a hell of a lot if I have endured so many people who want me to fail. I swear if I learned how to walk on water there would be some jerk out there who would say, “Only because you can’t swim!” SMH!
Hurt People, Hurt People
Insecurities. Suppressed emotions. Fear. People who hurt people are people who are hurting for these reasons. Does this make what they are doing ok? No, it does not, but it makes me understand even more that it’s not about me and it’s none of my business. There is nothing I can ever say or do to change their minds about me or my business. Change is hard, and people will fight change. Hate is also an addiction much like smoking cigarettes. Smoking is a horrible habit to try to quit, much like being hateful. Misery also loves company. Haters blame everyone else for their own shortcomings and end up creating their own little slice of hell.
No One Can be as Hard on Me as I am on Myself
I fail. I fail a lot. When I do I am hard on myself. I am disappointed with myself. But I get up, dust myself off and try again. No one ever succeeded by not trying again. No one has ever been a great success without people telling them they will fail or without people who want them to fail. Plus, I did not start this business to please haters. I started this business to help women, to lift women up and to make women understand how amazing they are.
I Block, Ban & Concentrate More on Those Who Do Support Me
What we feed grows, and what we starve dies. The things haters say and do is really all about them and has nothing to do with me other than I am an easy target since many know who I am. They’re hate is all about something that is unresolved within them. There is nothing I can do about that. They have to deal with that themselves. In the meantime, I’ll be over here killing them with kindness and not feeding the trolls.
People can drink all the Hater-ade they want. Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
I hope this post inspires anyone who is dealing with hateful people in their lives and gives them the strength and courage to keep going, keep climbing and keep loving.
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